April 2023

Transformations and transitions

Transitions

How do you tell your life story? The arc starts with birth and ends with death. The beginning is a happy one, and the ending sad. We sing happy birthday in C Major and funeral dirges in C sharp minor. We tend to think of life as a linear progression, especially in western societies. That beginnings ultimately yield to endings, which are viewed as cause for sorrow.

Eastern societies and philosophies had a different view of transformations. The Sankhyan philosophers in ancient India are believed to be the first philosophers of mankind. Their teachings on the interplay between Consciousness (Purusha) and Matter (Prakriti) gave rise to Jainism, Buddhism, the yin and the yang of Taoism, and Hinduism. The Sankhyans ecstatically extolled the greatest transformation of all – how a manifest creation arose from the unmanifest. They offered that cause and effect are inseparable. In cause is contained the effect. And in the effect is contained the cause. It is the same with beginnings and endings.

If you think about it, life thrusts us, whether we are ready or not, through transformations. If we learn to expect them, we may draw a deal of wisdom from changes. Sometimes, transitions are joyous like weddings or the birth of a child. Sometimes, they are bittersweet like sending your child away from home to college or walking her down the aisle. Sometimes they can be cataclysmic and tear families and nations apart. No matter what they are, endings always give rise to beginnings, and beginnings pave the way for endings. Our ancestors’ lives ended so we could start ours. Our lives will end so our children can take the center stage. That’s the way it goes.

Even in a lifetime, we see many births and deaths. Pieces of us die off and others emerge in their places. Relationships wither, memories are forgotten, and jobs are lost. In their places, new ones emerge, blossom and grow. What follows may not be necessarily better or worse than what came before. The wisdom comes from witnessing these changes for what they are. Peace comes transforming the pain of impermanence into creativity and ultimately liberation from pain itself. It is not enough to let go. We must also transcend life, even if momentarily, in the process.

Transitions are so important to our growth and well-being. Studies show time and again that the most difficult periods of change, whether you’ve been laid off or going through a divorce or have lost a loved one, are accompanied by great clarity, meaning, communion and transcendence. In fact, the greatest clarity and meaning are found by those facing imminent death. When asked to imagine death, most of us will tend to describe fear, anxiety and dread. The ones who are dying however don’t describe death in such terms. Terminally ill patients speak of finding love, connection and meaning in their final phase. The grim reaper may not be grim, after all.

Our creativity transforms into a spiritual force as we pass through transformations. It yearns for expression, often found in songs, poetry or lyrical prose. We see how musicians and writers and artists mature like fine wine with age. What is it that causes these moments of transformation, especially for those such as impending death, to open us up and make us more receptive to the spiritual treasures of existence? I don’t think we know why but we know that these moments are significant. They have the potential to dramatically improve our lives and bring us peace, only if we are willing to embrace them.

From time immemorial, we have understood the importance of life’s stages and their potential to change us. Nearly every tradition has a ritual to mark the passing of a boy or a girl into adulthood. On these occasions, the death of the ‘old self’ is acknowledged and the birth of the new one is celebrated. We observe the beginnings and the ends of seasons, which are but solstices and equinoxes. Some like the Hindus and the Jews even mark the beginning of a day at sunrise and its end at nightfall. It is another reminder that sunset isn’t the indicator of darkness but the prelude to the break of dawn and the arrival of light.

What transformations are you going through in your life? What wisdom have you gathered? Please share your experiences.